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backwoods beanheads

Summer 1999

The scene: Federal Courthouse, Boston.

HAE team members emerge, surrounded by heavy security. The place is mobbed. Hoards of screaming fans, women baring breasts. The paparrazzi are swarming, flashbulbs are going off everywhere, and microphones hanging from long booms fill the sky. It's pandimonium. All four members have snow parkas pulled down over their faces.

"Mr. Novak!, Mr. JB!" a reporter screams over the din, "Will HAE conform to the National Wilderness Preservation Act as ordered by the judge today?!?...

"NO COMMENT!" Novak yells back while pushing back the nearest camera lens with his hands.

"Go take a hike, gomer breath!," adds Mark as the team is stuffed into the Budweiser Powered Hedge Trimmer by musclebound security men elbowing away the throngs.

A huge cloud of black exhaust clears the crowd as the BPHT is started.

"The only place to escape these gomers is on the side of a mountian in Maine!" JB exclaims as he floors it.

Fife clicks on the radio.

"a dah, dah, dah..."


Copyright 1999 Tim Novak and HAE