Half Ass Expeditions


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The Half Ass Expeditions Glossary

"We don't need no stinking alphabet"

Kangie -- the road through the southern Whites: Kangamangus Highway
Bigtop - -the four man Mountainsmith "tee-pee style" tent
Box of Death -- A fire built like a chimney that burns hot and large!
Fat Foam -- big ass hunk of insulating foam to keep your ass off the snow.
PIGUL -- strange scar on the side of Grafton Notch, Maine.
Bigelow Shovel -- snow shovel with 8 foot handle made from the Bigtop center pole.
Bigelow Boots -- foam tied under Vincentoli's boots to over insulate his thermally sensitive feet.
The Gears of Industry -- The HAE Wilderness Clearcutting Show
Bacon Stripe -- You'll find that in your underwear after a few days campin'.
Chuff -- cut trail in deep snow.
Jeep Trail -- the easy way up a mountain.
Particulate Matter -- chunks in the water. "Does it particularly matter....?"
White Trash Night -- last night in the woods, all consumables front and center!
Mt. Washington -- a big , hiker killing rock in the White Mountains.
Gomers -- flatlanders, joeys, greenhorns, backwoods rookies, newbs; should stay home!
Trailer Chow -- The same white trash gourmet cuisine that is commonly washed down with copious quantities of alcohlic fluids among the toothless population of backwoods denizens.
Electric(ly) -- with the aid of a flashlight.
Post(ing) -- walking in deep snow with no snowshoes.
New Jersey -- Trash, wrappers, spills, yellowed snow or unsightly mishaps that spoil the normally pristine wilderness.
Giardia Soup -- Water with questionable purity. Beaver piss.
NACITS -- (say "knack-its") Not A Cloud In The Sky
Mr. Survival -- A wilderness survival role model, the backwoods inspiration, used most commonly as a camp compliment.
Peanut Gallery -- unsolicited comments.

The HAE Peanut Gallery

Big A -- Double AA batteries.
Thwam Thwacker -- an old tent pole used to introduce oxygen into a fire. Also causes hyperventilation.
Haebar -- (pronounced haybar), the official smoke of HAE.
Fred Astaire -- fancy footwoork for recovery of a fall, an elaborate stagger.
Great White North -- ....Eh.....like, where we go ...eh...?
Unsurvival Like -- blatent disregard for a survival situation.
Tukerman's Ravine -- prime NH death zone, upside of Mt Washington
Ham-And-Eggers -- see Gomers
Caveman Man -- Acting like or using primitive man technique or technology.
Brown Bomb -- Vincentoli's less than adequate vehicle.
High Impact Camping -- hacking and cutting your way to a higher standard of wilderness living at the expense of wildlife.
Low Impact Camping -- huh...? What's that...?
IOD -- Implements of Destruction, the tools HAE usually carries to assist in the reduction of the forest; brush axe, saw, thwam thwacker, wood stove...
Kelly Kettle -- old school Irish wood buring water boiler.
Acid -- tums, maallox, antiacids.
Tree Booming -- frozen trees cracking in the intense cold.
Camp Sprawl -- what you get when you take all of your gear out of you pack.
Global Warming -- the reason HAE hikes further North each year.
ICs - -instantly consumables (like gorp or Powerbars)
Norm Abrams -- a hiker who spends a half hour making a stool.
Angel Dust Cut with Formaldehyde - -Powerdered drink mix and booze.
Bottle of Doom -- the container for powerful alcoholic fluids.
Wilderness -- out of sight of a MacDonalds or Burger King.

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Copyright 2005 Timur Novasch and Half Ass Expeditions