the team

The Half Ass Expeditions Glossary

"We don't need no stinking alphabet"

Kangie--the road through the southern Whites: Kangamangus Highway
Bigtop--the four man Mountainsmith "tee-pee style" tent
Box of Death--A fire built like a chimney that burns hot and large!
Fat Foam--big ass hunk of insulating foam to keep your ass off the snow.
Geologic Survey Map--a piece of paper JB uses quite often during arguments.
The Gears of Industry--The HAE Wilderness Clearcutting Show
Bacon Stripe--You'll find that in your underwear after a few days campin'.
Chuff--cut trail in deep snow.
Jeep Trail--the easy way up a mountain.
Particulate Matter--chunks in the water. "Does it particularly matter....?"
White Trash Night--last night in the woods, all consumables front and center!
Mt. Washington--a big , hiker killing rock in the White Mountains.
Gomers--flatlanders, joeys, greenhorns, backwoods rookies, newbs; should stay home!
Trailer Chow--The same white trash gourmet cuisine that is commonly washed down with copious quantities of alcohlic fluids among the toothless population of backwoods denizens.
Electric(ly)--with the aid of a flashlight.
New Jersey--Trash, wrappers, spills or unsightly mishaps that spoil the normally pristine wilderness.
Giardia Soup--Water with questionable purity. Beaver piss.
NACITS--(say "knack-its") Not A Cloud In The Sky
Mr. Survival--A wilderness survival role model, the backwoods inspiration, used as a camp compliment.
Peanut Gallery--unsolicited comments.
Big A--Double AA batteries.
Thwam Thwacker--an old tent pole used to introduce oxygen into a fire. Also causes hyperventilation.
Haebar--(pronounced haybar), the official smoke of HAE.
Fred Astaire--fancy footwoork for recovery of a fall, an elaborate stagger.
Great White North--....Eh.....like, where we go ...eh...?
Unsurvival Like--blatent disregard for a survival situation.
Tukerman's Ravine--prime NH death zone, upside of Mt Washington
Ham-And-Eggers--see Gomers
Caveman Man--Acting like or using primitive man technique or technology.
Brown Bomb--JB's less than adequate vehicle.
High Impact Camping--hacking and cutting your way to a higher standard at the expense of wildlife.
IOD--Implements of Destruction, tools that assist in the reduction of the forest; brush axe, saw, thwam thwacker...
Acid--tums, maallox, antiacids.
Tree Booming--frozen trees cracking in the intense cold.
Camp Sprawl--what you get when you take all of your gear out of you pack.
Ed Gein--an excellent hacking tool for cutting ice holes and splitting wood for the stove.
ICs--instantly consumables (like gorp or Powerbars)
Norm Abrams--a hiker who spends a half hour making a stool.
Angel Dust Cut with Formaldehyde--Powerdered drink mix and booze.
Bottle of Doom--the container for powerful alcoholic fluids.
Wilderness--out of sight of a MacDonalds or Burger King.

HAE's Buttboard
Copyright 2005 Tim Novak and HAE